Beach House: The Ultimate TNT Fete Experience

I’ve never been one to hang out with stuck up people. Or “stush” as it’s called in West Indian culture. Back in high school when I was in Jack and Jill I used to boycott the meetings and in college I almost didn’t pledge AKA because I fell for the rumors about them being conceited (Whew! That was a close one! I mean we are a little conceited but whatever *flips hair over shoulder, toots nose in air and continues writing*)

So when I heard about the infamous Beach House fete last year, I wasn’t really interested in going. Folks say it’s all #fancyhuh with girls dressed up like there’s a runway in the vicinity and nobody really workin’ that thang out on the dance floor. What da hell kinda party is that? And why would I pay *mutters obscene number under breath* to go to that sort of thing? You can’t get me to pay over $30 to get into a party in NY so the idea of spending over $150 to get into a party where I didn’t walk away with a charleyhorse from dancing just didn’t seem worth it. However, in 2013 I will likely not be back here and who knows if my 30-something-year-old knees can handle it after that so I figured I needed to check this Beach House thing out for myself.

Yeah, you read that bottle right. It’s Johnny Walker Blue folks. A few feet into the fete there was a stand serving it up like it was water. Straight up or on the rocks. Because apparently anything less would be uncivilized. Word on the street that stuff is like $180 a bottle so this sort of lavish gesture pretty much set the tone for the experience to come.

Once we fueled up on Johnny and snapped a few pics in front of the gorgeous Hollywood-like Beach House sign, we headed in to the main area up the hill. The party sits on a sprawling lawn with large white tents for each food and beverage station. On the way in I spotted a Nuvo tent, a Patron tent, a Bailey’s tent and  a Jaegermeister bomb tent. And these are all in ADDITION to the regular bar, which was stocked with the likes of Johnny Walker Green and Hennessy White.

Since it took quite a while to get out to the location in the middle of nowhere, our first stop was the food tent. From the parking lot I saw smoke so I figured there was a jerk stand or something. Uh, negative. Yes, there was jerk. But there was also Curry Crab and Dumpling, Chicken Tikka Masala, Roast Pork, Pholouri, Garlic Shrimp, and a whole tent of sweet temptations including Bailey’s Double Chocolate Delight and Red Velvet Wave. If you know me you know I was overwhelmed with all the options, taking multiple trips to the various tents to try different things. The Roast Pork was better than Chipotle (What? You know you love you some Chipotle. Admit it.) and the doubles were probably the best I’ve ever had in Trinidad or elsewhere.

Once my food baby was fully matured and tucked in nicely behind my bubble skirt, we commenced the libation fest. Every time I went to the bar and was able to order Hennessy White without forking over my paycheck, I considered my ticket worth it’s value. There were no performances at Beach House but the DJs definitely kept the party going with no problems, and while yes, the crowd was a little “Hey look at me in my heels and my hair-done-nails-done-everything-did/ Ayo son check out my white linen pants and aviator shades I’m famous yo, ask about me”, it wasn’t anything a little soca couldn’t cure. As the sun started to set, it was like the freshman year for a preacher’s daughter. All hell broke loose like folks had permission to act a monkey cause the sun had gone down (news flash ladies: I can still see you touching your knees to your elbows in them stilettos in the dark. And I salute you for such agility cause my knees divorced my elbows over 5 years ago)

The telltale sign of a good party is that you don’t want to leave when it’s over. You want to secretly start the music back up, kick off your heels, pull the flats out of your purse and keep dropping that thang to the floor until security comes to usher you out. Or maybe that’s just me. But you get it. Beach House deserves it’s notoriety for being the ultimate Trinidad Carnival fete experience. If you’re one of the people who have already told me they are coming next year, go ahead and put it on your list and just know that in terms of quality, organization, professionalism, production value, premium alcohol access and overall awesomeness – Beach House is where it’s at.