Travel, Travel Tips

Why “No New Friends” is a Stupid Rule When it Comes to Travel

June 1, 2014

I mean what kinda crazy rule is that anyway? No new friends? Really? I’ll never forget when I first started seeing people tag #nonewfriends on Instagram and was wondering what kinda bitter foolishness is that? Who stole your lunch on the playground and got you looking like grumpy cat 20 years later? Stop, put down the violins and consider how much joy could flood your life if you were open to the possibilities of new people outside of your “day one n*ggas”

Just…..stop.

I’ll never forget some not-so-wise advice I received from an older girlfriend when I was fresh out of college. She told me “Tracey you’re not really gonna meet any new friends, honey. You’ll meet new people, but your real friends are the ones you already have.”

At the time I was 22 years old, new to Atlanta, and the only friend I had at the time was my roommate from college. And those words frightened me. Like, this is it? Not that my high school or college friends aren’t awesome, but with all of them so far away, and me stuck in that post-college, who-am-I-and-what-am-I-here-for stage, the idea of not experiencing new energy in my life seemed daunting to say the least.

Until I moved even further away from everyone I loved and started a new life in New York City. Suddenly, I was forced to travel, both within the US to visit family and friends, and internationally to escape the wrist-slitting side effects of Winter in NYC. Suddenly, my circle of friends began to grow exponentially.  I began meeting people with the same passion for adventure as I had discovered in myself, and they became (wait for it)…new friends!

(Take that Drake!)

On my last trip to Trinidad Carnival, there was a pivotal moment outside of the fun and feathers that turned 20 acquaintances into friends. We were outside a breakfast party waiting to leave, and one of our friends who had recently lost her father was having a difficult time. Something triggered his memory, causing a breakdown right in the middle of our 20 passenger van. She was inconsolable, crying so hard she had to get out of the van and let it all out. Unsure of what else to do,  a “new friend” who had known only her for a few days decided to lead us all in an emotional prayer, wrapping her in our collective arms of love and praying for her peace and healing in that moment.

You’d never tell from the smiling costume photos and the beach bikini shots that get posted, but it’s the moments in between those photos where friendships are formed. Whether you’re sick #whitegirlwasted and simply need someone to hold your hair, or get separated from the group and are convinced you’re gonna be kidnapped by bandits until your friends find you and all is well in the world (hypothetically) – these memories in between beach selfies are where #newfriends are born while traveling, and are what you remember most after you return.

In the weeks following our trip to carnival, these ladies proved to me that No New Friends is a stupid rule. Here’s why:

“I knew this trip would be epic……but it was even better than I imagined. Life can get pretty tough, as we all know. But having genuinely loving, yet certifiably crazy friends makes life worth living. I am truly blessed.” 

“I love you guys. I had such a wonderful time with my old crazy friends and the new crazy ones I just met.” 

“You guys have me crying a blasted river!! I absolutely adore all over you.”

“It’s funny how we gush all over each other with compliments and love. But this is a great group of folks who create great memories. Smh. Getting teary eyed. Virtual hugs to everyone.”

“Cheers to new friends indeed! This thread is making me SO happy! I can not wait to see you ALL again pretty soon-ish. I’ve got so much time and love for you all. I never want this email group to stop. Ever.”
#NewFriends from 2013 #TravelFamily crew back together in 2014!

#NewFriends from 2013 #TravelFamily crew back together in 2014!

These friendships and the new ones to come are one of the reasons I’ll never stop traveling. It’s the reason I jumped on the OHPsalms #TravelFamily trip last year where I only knew a few people, and went again this year to hang with all my new friends from last year! It’s also the reason I’m headed to India in February with a bunch of strangers in the Nomadness Travel Tribe and only one friend coming with me.

Never ever let anyone tell you your friends for life are the ones from high school. Or college. Or your sorority/fraternity or your block back home or your day one n*ggas or any other foolishness you hear on the radio. Friends come into your life as long as you let them and traveling outside of your comfort zone is just another way to connect with like-minded individuals who share the same passion for life that you do.

Treat each vacation as an opportunity to expand your circle, and even if you don’t need any new friends, maybe someone else does and you can pour into someone else’s life in a positive way.

Cheers to new friends!
NewFriends_Cheers
Reviews

4 Courses of Awesome at The Bristol (Chicago)

April 16, 2014

So I’ll be straight up and say I wasn’t even all that geeked about heading to The Bristol last night. My coworkers suggested it, and upon browsing the menu and finding dishes like “leeks vinaigrette” and “beef tongue”, I pretty much wrote it off as one of those gourmet bougie spots with well-plated food that pisses off your taste buds every single time.

Man oh MAN was I wrong! This place was a blessing to my belly in ways I’d never expect. We kicked off dinner with cocktails, and I chose the Dark & Stormy. Crafted with Gosling’s rum and ginger beer, their version of this classic cocktail was reminiscent of a caribbean rum punch but not too sweet with a lovely ginger flavor from puree they make in-house. One sip and I was instantly transported to a moonlit beach, walking hand-in-hand with some dark chocolate miracle with India.Arie’s “Beautiful Surprise” playing faintly in the background.

Then a needle scratch interrupted my moonlit fantasy, and I came back to snowy Chicago as the waiter brought out our starters – duck fat fries and fried brussel sprouts.

Duck-Fat-Fries-The-BristolThese fries though? Like, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go to McDonald’s again. And I don’t even know what duck fat really means but these fries renewed my faith in the idea of “gourmet fries”. They were thick, perfectly crisp and dusted with some sort of heavenly goodness that I caught myself licking off my fingers (this is why we can’t have nice things). The brussel sprouts were crispy all the way to the center, and their semi-sweet glaze perfectly complemented the savory flavor of whatever oil and spices they were fried in.

bristol_monkey_bread

Next up was monkey bread and the raviolo. I was super skeptical about the monkey bread because I’ve never seen it outside my Aunt’s kitchen in South Carolina. But it only took one bite to give The Bristol permission to serve monkey bread in their establishment. The outside was wonderfully buttery, but not greasy, and the dill sauce that accompanied it was actually delightful (despite me sorta hating dill). The raviolo was delicious as well, but with ricotta and egg and some cream sauce it was so rich I have no idea how one person eats that whole thing!

thebristol_roast_chickenAt this point I could have gone home happy and fat, but we had more coming! We were reluctant to order chicken with so many other options, but that may have been the best decision we made all night. Their roasted chicken was super moist and smothered in this super-savory brown sauce that I could have sopped up with that monkey bread but I refrained because Obama is president and when I’m out I try to act like I have home training. Sometimes.

The salmon was served upside down with a nice crispy skin that I actually loved but some could find off putting if you’re not into salmon skin. And the meat literally melted in your mouth.

thebristol_basqueAfter 7 cocktails, 2 snacks, 2 starters and 3 entrees you would think we would have mercy on our stomachs but at this point why not go all the way to hell for shameless gluttony and order 2 desserts? The Caramel Bar, complete with peanut brittle, milk chocolate cremeux, nougat ice cream was just too much for me to comprehend, so I only tasted the Basque Cake which was reminiscent of my mother’s pineapple upside down cake, but unfortunately not quite as moist.

All in all, I could give this place a solid 47 stars out of 5, but I’ll just go with 5 for now because it’s all I’ve been thinking about all day, and a place I would highly recommend on your next trip to Chicago!

RATING
Food: 5
Drinks: 5
Ambiance: 4

Travel, Travel Tips

How to Plan a Girls Getaway

March 19, 2014

The first time I traveled internationally with a group of girlfriends I was 23 years old. There were like 20 of us, fresh out of college, in the Bahamas. Go ahead and let that marinate for a second. 20 girls, 20 opinions, 20 itineraries and 672 bags of clothes. The weekend is a bit of a blur, but from what I remember luggage got lost, several people got cussed out, and 3 ended up #whitegirlwasted singing songs in the shower together naked.

That happened.

Fast forward 10 years or so, I still love traveling with my girls, but I’ve learned that taking a girls trip requires a bit of structure to balance good times and employment retention. There are a few key players you need on your team for any girls getaway, and luckily you probably already know these ladies and can tap into their expertise on your next vacation!

Travel_Organizer

THE ORGANIZER

This person is key because if she’s not there, you’re bound to have someone book a flight to the wrong airport or be going off like The Mad Rapper  in Customs because they didn’t know they needed a visa. Your Organizer is the girl who makes lists and checks them twice. Or maybe 57 times cause she’s obsessively organized and really needs to get that checked out. Either way, you need her on board because she will help create your itinerary, organize transportation, keep everyone on schedule (within a reasonable CP time window), and ensure that despite the unplanned adventures you’ll inevitably embark upon, everyone knows what the game plan is.


Instead of “delegating” this position, the easiest way to choose The Organizer is identify the friend who does this with her normal life. That way it’s not a burden for her, and she won’t wanna fight you and your girls by the end of the trip.

Tip: Make sure to extend some sort of gratitude to your Organizer after the trip because though she may be a natural, it’s a lot of work.

TurntUpTammyPhoto by Dwayne Watkins Photography

TURNT UP TAMMY

Tammy is the best thing that ever happened to a Bachelorette Party. She’s the reason what happens in Vegas stays there, and will get herself into shenanigans you can only shake your head and laugh at. Turnt Up Tammy is a must for every girls trip because she will be the ringleader for every unplanned adventure that’s not on the list mapped out by The Organizer. She’s that friend with the gift of gab that can get you guys into any VIP area, crash parties ya’ll weren’t invited to and get you on random excursions you’d never dream of! Guys love to be around Tammy because she’s usually outgoing, talkative and having the time of her life. So naturally she always manages to find a group of guys for ya’ll to hang out with on your trip!

Another great thing about Tammy is that she brings out the Sasha Fierce in your girlfriends. She’s the cheerleader for your inner ‘Yonce and your “Yes Girl” for those times when morals cloud your judgement.

“Should I wear this tight skirt with the..” YES!
“Should me and Renee go on this boat ride with these cute British guys from..” YES!
“Should I go home with this guy I met tonight, he’s married but…” NOOOO! (Luckily fellas, Tammy isn’t crazy, just Turnt Up so don’t try to kick her off your girl’s next trip 🙂

THE CHAPERONE

TheProfessionalSo before you remove this chick from the trip’s email thread, let me explain. The Chaperone is the girl who will keep Turnt Up Tammy out of jail. Whether she’s the real attorney in the group, or just the one with the most home training, she’s the one in charge of employment retention on your getaway. When half of you are at the party hollering like goats, remaking the Drunk in Love video on top of a table, The Chaperone is sipping her Bellini and flirting with the bouncer to distract him from kicking y’all out of the party (or the country). She’s the one that will kindly tell Tammy to come out of that split on the dance floor because Facebook is watching, and will make sure everyone comes home to their jobs.

Now don’t get me wrong, The Chaperone isn’t a Debbie Downer or a killjoy. She’ll still take shots with the crew, and could probably dutty wine in a split just like Tammy but you’ll never see it on Facebook because she is a professional, with a job she wants to come back to, and just wants the same for you and your crew.

THE HISTORIAN

TheHIstorianOne of the biggest differences between a guys trip and a girls trip is that women LOVE taking pictures! From that iconic bikini shot at the beach, to every meal we eat while traveling, we wanna record everything! That’s why it’s so important to have The Historian on your team (instead of taking that group photo 14 times on 8 cameras, 5 phones, and that raggedy Kodak disposable that be like oh wait I forgot the flash oh wait just one more… #killmenow). She’s probably one of a few people in the crew that actually has a decent camera, and enjoys taking pictures. But luckily for her, The Historian has perfected that balance between enjoying the moment and recording it so she doesn’t miss a beat. She somehow manages to capture not just the posed shots, but also those candid moments that reflect the smiles, laughter and happiness you all shared on your getaway. The only drawback for the Historian is not being in many pictures, so make sure to offer to take a few so she can feel like she was there too when it’s time to post photos on Facebook!

THE HOMIES

So while I would never suggest bringing husbands, boos or any other male counterpart on a girls’ trip, it’s actually kind of fun to have a group of guys you know and trust on your getaway. The Homies aren’t there to supervise you guys or escort you to every event. They have their own trip and their own plans. However, y’all can pre-game together, kick it on the beach together, and share stories at a late night diner after Tammy got everybody kicked out the party (The Chaperone is so embarrassed). The Homies can also help relieve The Historian of her duties when it’s group photo time with all those cameras, and be on standby in the rare situation a wayward negro gets out of line with someone in your crew.

One important thing to note:  You don’t meet The Homies on vacation. They are your boys from back home or college or general friends that you trust and have “platonic relationships” with (Note the air quotes, ’cause at the end of the day, The Homies are still men so don’t get caught slippin’). BlurredLines

If The Homies are some random dudes you met at the airport, that late night diner trip can venture into blurred lines territory and the next thing you know y’all are back at their hotel dancing in your panties with a sheep wondering what happened.

#EverybodyGetUp
#NoReallyItsTimeToGoHome
#LeaveTheSheep

And most importantly if some craziness goes down on the trip and it’s not your real homies, they won’t look out for you and your crew and they definitely won’t fight another dude over you. Choose The Homies carefully like you would choose anyone else in your travel crew, and they’ll be a fun addition to your next adventure!

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Have you traveled with a large group of of girls? How was your experience? Are you one of the people on this list? Ever traveled with The Homies? Let me know! (And invite me on your next trip, I’ll be happy to be your Historian if Turnt Up Tammy is coming 🙂

Featured, Travel, Travel Tips

How to Slim Down for Vacation

March 14, 2014

YAAAAAAAAAAAASSSS HUNNNY!!! WERRRRRRKKKK!!

And I say that fully aware that I’m in this picture, but if you ate tree bark and air cookies for 3 months you’d give yourself a round of applause too! I wish I could say we all naturally have high metabolism but in reality, it took some serious work for many of us to get here. The youngest person in this lineup is 29, the oldest is 40 (and runs marathons) and there are several mothers in the crew. So yeah – no excuses!

Since several people have been asking about our workout plan, I figured I’d share a few of my own tips and then introduce you to our  trainer!

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BeachHouseWHAT WORKED FOR ME

  1. Track your Food – I chose Weight Watchers because I need structure (i.e. I love food too much freestyle a diet) but My Fitness Pal and other free apps are great too! Tracking your food keeps you accountable and puts that Big Mac in perspective.
  2. Embrace Weight Training – Don’t feel like you’ll look like Vera de Milo if you pick up a dumbbell. Lifting weights definitely accelerated my results and the cool part is muscle burns fat while you’re sleeping. How awesome is that! It’s like the laziest workout ever!
  3. Challenge Yourself– I absolutely hate running and hate mornings even more, but this year I embraced both by not only waking up at 6 to go to the gym, but also running several miles before work. And at first my body was all like “Oh HELL naw, what are we doing? What time is it? My shins are on fire! Why me lawd!” But then I actually started to enjoy it, got my mile down from 12:30 to 11:09, and am now on a mission to get to 10 minute mile by summer!

TIPS FROM OUR TRAINER

WorkoutwithcoachcassSo that’s the quick and dirty on what I did on my own, but if you’re serious about getting fit, I suggest working with a trainer and nutrition specialist. Luckily we had a trainer in our crew, Coach Cass, who was absolutely amazing, sending us meal plans, new exercises to try each day, and overall motivation for the entire 3 month period. Follow her on Instagram (@coachcassfit) and Facebook (Wellness With Coach Cass) for for fun daily workouts you can do from home, wellness tips, motivation and overall encouragement.

If you think you’ll end up scrolling through her posts in bed with a 2-piece meal and need some face time to get motivated, head to one of her classes in New York City or online via Trainerly.

CLICK HERE FOR FULL CLASS SCHEDULE

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So, Cass before folks think you’re naturally fit with some insane metabolism, tell me a bit about your personal weight loss story.

Coach Cass TransformationSo I’ve always been a “thickems” but no one remembers me as Cass from college being 10 pants sizes and 50 lbs. heavier. I’ve always played sports and danced from birth but I ate pretty crazy. I was addicted to sugar. I was the girl who put sugar in my frosted flakes and even my spaghetti!

Long story short, my sister has lupus and was given 2 wks to live. My mother healed her right in front of my eyes within a 2 month time period through juicing ( just veggies ). I was like wow, time to change your life around Cass. No more trash in your body. Slowly but surely as I started to change my diet, my weight started coming down, my migrane headaches went away and so did my “roll on the floor” period cramps. I was once a size 13/14 and came down to a size 2/3 not through any crash diet or liposuction. Just by changing my eating habits and intensifying my workouts.

Do you have a lot of clients preparing for vacations and weddings? How do you train people who have a deadline for their fitness goals?

Yes, a lot of clients usually use vacation or wedding deadlines as their daily motivation to meet their goals. The majority of the time these events are a few months away so I have them set shorter goals so that their 3 to 6 month goal seems more attainable. For example, for someone who absolutely hates running we start off with a power walk, then a jog, then eventually a run and set a new time for them to beat each week. Same with strength training –  we start small then increase as the client gets better.

What’s the biggest mistake you find people make when trying to slim down?

  1. People try and starve themselves. This not only slows metabolism but also drains energy levels. You don’t have to eat less, you just have to eat right. You should be eating 5-6 times a day.
  2. People try to do the same workout and see different results.  Some people tell me, “Coach Cass I run 5 miles all the time, or I do 100 crunches or jumping jacks everyday,” and I congratulate them and let them know that it’s time to intensify that workout. If you do that ALL the time you will continue to see the same results because your body is in maintenance mode. You have to let it know that you’re trying to change it. Tracey’s example of her incorporating running and weight training in her workout routine was a great example of this.
  3. People try and meet their goal with ONLY exercise adjustments. You MUST adjust your diet or else you’ll never truly see the results you want to see.

We all know when it’s vacation/bikini time the first place we think about is our tummies. Any specific exercises or dietary changes you recommend to tighten up these areas?

EXERCISE
Some of the best exercises for achieving a  flatter stomach include:
Knees In and Out, Reverse Crunches, Ball Crunches, Log Roll, Ab Tuck, The Crab Ab Workout, Side Crunches, V Crunches, Chin Up Crunches, Hanging Leg Raise and Hanging Knee Raises just to name a few. Here’s a demo video to help you get started.

I would incorporate these into your workout daily. I had the carnival crew do 4 sets of 25 as a daily addition to whatever the workout of the day was. Incorporate push-ups as well so you don’t leave out your arms. (watch demo)

Here are a few additional videos to help tighten up that bikini body:

DIET

  1. Stay away from junk food like chips, cake and pastries, and avoid cheese, beef, pork, fried food and late night carbs.
  2. Drink water instead of juice because juice has a lot of added sugar and unwanted calories.  Also try to decrease your alcohol intake because you waste calories every time you drink and those calories go directly to your stomach most of the time.
  3. Eat lots of lean protein (like beans and nuts, fish, chicken, turkey, lamb), fruits and vegetables, and whole grain breads and grains.

Click here to download a full nutrition & fitness guide from Coach Cass!

Any final suggestions for ladies looking to slim down for vacation or carnival season?

I can’t stress enough, “Do what you’ve never done to see what you’ve never seen.” It all starts with your mindset. I can give you a million tips but if you haven’t made up your mind to be committed and do what you need to do to get to where you need to be, it wont happen. You can do it! I will be your biggest cheerleader! Seeing people meet and exceed their goals literally makes my heart smile.

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So that’s it folks! If you have specific questions for me or Cass please enter them below in the comments section, and if you’d like to work with Cass, or simply be inspired by her healthy lifestyle, check out the links below to start your journey towards a healthier lifestyle.

Wellness With Coach Cass

 

Travel, Travel Stories

The Music of Trinidad Carnival: Old School Meets New School

March 12, 2014

Before I moved to New York I didn’t know the difference between reggae and soca. Or calypso and dancehall or any other beat that sounded remotely like Bob Marley. I mean it’s all the same right? It all comes from from Jamaica or one of those other islands that start with St. Something or other. This was my myopic perspective growing up in South Carolina with extremely limited exposure to Caribbean culture. I saw the entire region as one big monolith of Black people who all wore dreadlocks and listened to Shabba Ranks or that Beany Man guy.

*tear*

Now that over half my passport stamps are from the Caribbean, my eye is much more keen to the nuances between each country, and one that has continued to attract me repeatedly is Trinidad is the energy and vibe of soca music. And it’s crazy because as a non-West Indian who barely understands half the words to the songs, I’ve become addicted to the music just like everyone else who attends carnival because it’s not as much about the lyrics as much as it is about the vibe and the memories associated with the songs.

auntcoralThe music that permeates the air during carnival usually falls into 2 categories – high energy soca, and steel pan music – which have very different sounds.  While all the young folks are out on the road whining on top of cars and making grandbabies in the middle of the street to the tunes blaring from huge DJ trucks, many older citizens still hit the road with the smaller steel pan bands that play not just the latest songs but also more traditional tunes. My first year when I stayed with my “Trinidad Mom” Auntie Coral,  it was so cool to hear her talk about how much she enjoys the steel pan music. Like older Black Americans who don’t understand today’s hip hop music, she doesn’t really understand the new soca, saying it’s basically just “jump up put your hands in the air” with no real stories like back in the day. Luckily, during carnival the two generations don’t really try to compete with each other, simply coexisting in their respective places within the soundtrack of carnival.

So last night, it was kinda awesome to see the two generations come together unexpectedly at a fete called Phuket. At the end of the party when the DJ cut the music, a “riddim” band called Hands of Rhythm continued playing as guests left the venue. My friends and I walked over to listen and were kinda geeked when we realized that instead of the traditional rhythms, they were playing some of our favorite soca tunes from this year! The kind of stuff you would hear in Private Ryan’s Soca Brainwash mix, was translated into a full band with steel pans, drums, trumpets, and a trombone. And the band members were all fairly young, which was the cool part to me because they were keeping the tradition going in a way that appealed to the younger generation.

While the fete was decent, I literally could have just sat with a drink and listened to that band play all night. And it’s hard for me to articulate why my friends and I found that set to be so awesome. We stood and cheered and danced for as long as they would play, and then chanted “We Want More!” when they were finished, eliciting a few more songs before they packed up for the night.

DSC06637

I took a little video with my phone, but this was one of those moments that make me encourage people to come to carnival and see it for yourself. There’s so much more to the experience than partying and costumes, and embracing these little cultural gems give special meaning to every trip. I imagine when I’m Auntie Coral’s age, I’ll probably still be at fetes watching the young folks dance in foam like this awesome lady to the left that I met at Sunnyside, but I imagine I’ll also wake up at 3 AM to play J’ouvert with the steel pan and riddim bands just Auntie Coral did this weekend, and my prayer is that it’s something like that night at Phucket. Check out the clip below to get a taste for yourself:

Here’s the original song “Happiest Man Alive” by Machel Montano: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na5eNkT21Ds

Here’s the cover by Hands of Rhythm (pardon the less-than-stellar camera phone video 🙂

Reviews, Travel

Why French Food is Overrated

February 23, 2014

I like my food like De-Bo. I want the flavor to knock me clean out on the first forkful, snatch my chain and leave me wondering what the hell just happened.

I like my meals like a southern Baptist church choir. I wanna take a bite and it’s like the choir director just cut the music, and let each section ride out acapella, rocking and stomping and doing the elbow popper and gettin’ it in so good that all you can do is just wave your right hand in the air in silent testimony because the food has left you speechless.

Right at the table. Elbow-poppin praise. That. Damn. Good.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. French food is pretty good.  And Paris has given me the gift that keeps on giving – a sweet tooth. Never in life have I craved sweets after a meal until now. I don’t know if they use a special cow’s milk for their chocolates, or if they sprinkle fairy dust in their flour but I’m pretty much hooked on dessert now.

But overall, unless there is some magic dish I need to try, French cuisine gets a B-. And if your child brings home a B minus, you celebrate right? Like good job, Junior!

No.

In my house, if I brought home a B minus, the Colemans had an altar call to bring me and my intellect back to Jesus because there are 20 points out there that I failed to acquire and that needs to never happen again.

Ever.

So that’s kinda how I feel about food. It needs to be an exceptional experience. A sonata of culinary harmony that builds to a climax, ends on a pitch perfect note and elicits a standing ovation. Or maybe I’m just being dramatic like I’m known to be, but God gives us a certain number of days on this Earth, and I aim to bring joy to each of mine with all the edible goodness and mercy that has been offered to us. Because food is life, life is short, and my belly will go to Heaven with knees bowed and hands raised in thanksgiving for curry goat and shrimp po’ boys.

If your belly isn’t there yet, get your culinary life in order, and visit some places with food that will make you a believer (Ocho Rios, Accra & New Orleans are a few that come to mind). When you’re done with those, stop by Paris for a vanilla macaron from Ludaree. It’s what they serve for dessert in heaven.

laduree-macaron